Unexpected Moments in the Sun

Where structured neighborhoods
become countryside,
paved city streets morph
into chaotic gravel roads.

Where warm cars stretch
spaghetti-like through wheat fields
losing power and gliding
to awkward stops
under dusty plumes,
youthful passengers emerge
meeting sleepy breezes
with glowing faces.

Where frustrated drivers grunt
while turning useless keys
in useless ignitions,
establishing forcefully
Ford Mercury’s
don’t run on sun’s energy,
restless car-tired kids,
like shiny seas of wheat growing,
bloom with the excitement
of unexpected moments,
and run hyper wild,
feet not fully touching ground,
so light and sharp,
like samurai’s blades
slashing fresh air.

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25 thoughts on “Unexpected Moments in the Sun

  1. I like this poem. It evoked images for me as it should, of children. and reminded me of the song by Cat Stevens called ‘where do the children play?’

  2. Reminds me of childhood vacation trips, when we would pull into a rest stop and whoop it up along the highway. I can almost taste the sweet tea from the thermos…evocative piece, thank you.

  3. On my first read through this piece, your opening stanzas grabbed me; perhaps because I’m a former city girl now living in the country, those chaotic gravel roads and spaghetti-like stretch of cars are so familiar. But the second time through I caught the story in the last stanza more clearly. Although I wonder if it would work better broken in two:

    Where frustrated drivers grunt
    while turning useless keys
    in useless ignitions,
    establishing forcefully
    Ford Mercurys
    don’t run on sun’s energy.

    Restless car-tired kids,
    like shiny seas of wheat growing,
    bloom with the excitement
    of unexpected moments,
    and run hyper wild,
    feet not fully touching ground,
    so light and sharp,
    like samurai’s blades
    slashing fresh air.

    Just a thought. A great read in all. Thanks for sharing this for the rally!

    1. Thank you, Julie. I’m glad you felt strongly enough to interact critically on this poem. I really like that kind of comment. You present a good idea. It does feel like a better flow. The first line of each stanza, though, leads to the conclusion. Where… frustrated drivers grunt, leads to restless car-tired kids’ action. Hm? I might extent this poem so there are two more stanzas beginning with “Where…”. Thanks again.

  4. hm! evoked sweaty, nice smells! I miss the sun.

    Thanks for the lovely mind-scenes (and the less lovely ones too!) 😀 A very fluent poem.

  5. You know what I like about you?
    You’re a storyteller. You weave stories out of mere moments that are usually boring. Another work of art…

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