Veneer

Irridiscent Flowers

The garden does not
Linger as it used to
The aroma of blood
Among lilacs conspires
Against visitation.
My sanctuary is lost.
The last time I went in
I had to claw my way out.
A church was never
Intended as a home
And a prayer must never
Invalidate commitment.

*

I prowl the perimeter,
A gravekeeper of sorts
Wondering if those halls
Still echo with my sobs,
If those weathered stones
Still mark the passage of time.
Or if another God
Rattles my osseous harvests.
Sometimes beauty is a veneer
For the hopes we cherish
But do not realize.
*
My therapist suggested that I try writing poems to my abstract paintings.

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9 thoughts on “Veneer

  1. Absolutely stunning together – and could stand apart as well – both. Interestingly enough – as I read the work, I had my doubts that it was yours – until I came across the word “osseous” then I thought – “okay, this isn’t a re-blog of someone else’s work, Yves wrote this.”

    What I think interesting and fascinating, is the flow – and the rhythm as well as the metaphors, imagery, it feels “softer” – perhaps because of the painting directing your thoughts, which given the color and hue affects mood? And I’m thinking of this in comparison to some of your other works shared on your space – as related to MLMM or simply pieces you’ve written.

    Of course, each piece is individual to the moment. If you were to write to this piece again 3 months from now, it might and would be different, perhaps not deeply in essence, but maybe yes? Who is to know.

    But I suggest, this definitely “feels” and reads really different than “normal” – equally strong and evocative – but somehow, less “raw and jagged” – sometimes it’s like “reading daggers.”

    Beautiful piece Yves 😀

    1. I agree it is different from my usual I love how you saw osseous and knew it was me though lol I painted this particular piece when I was pregnant and I think I was about 20 different people hormonally speaking. I brought this painting in along with several others to show my therapist. She had us compose music to the pieces as well. Though we only had time for two and this one didn’t get to the musical composition stage. When I was describing the paintings I could remember a lot about them where I was, what I was feeling but this one took much longer to surface. I feel a very strong association with this piece and the hallway of my old apartment, I know it was hung there (and that I looked at it often) but I may have even painted it there, I mean the impression of that hallway, is as strong to me as the feelings behind it. I know I wanted to make something beautiful, I was nesting (you know decorating frantically) but I was also in a lot of turmoil at that time. On the one hand I had my happy pregnancy vibes but a lot of dark things from my past were also bubbling up and a lot of fears about motherhood (would I be like my parents?). Whenever my husband left for work I would just lose it. Crying in the closets, screaming that sort of thing (I mean total mental breakdown and then I would try to be normal by the time he got back home). I calmed myself by taking walks in a beautiful park nearby, so I know plants were important to me which is why the flower theme. I was a wreck and I painted a lot then. I have always lived very internally and I knew when I had a baby I was going to have to let go of that sanctuary and participate more actively in the real world and I also knew if I couldn’t everything my life would crumble. So I guess I am saying I was exceedingly weak and vulnerable at that time. Also weirdly the hallway reminds of the ghost we had in the apartment.

      1. wow – that certainly was an explanation – but thank you for sharing. And I mean that honestly.

        Strangely enough, the painting doesn’t “feel” turmoil to me, which is interesting in that you were experiencing so many different and difficult feelings at the time. Phew – but you made it through. Now, that – that my friend – strength and courage – in the face of sheer madness!

        As for the associations with the hallway and how clearly it still resonates with you, etc. that too is noteworthy and fascinating – for your personal reasons – as well as my take – perhaps the painting was so well placed there because it was a transitional space – the theme “safe peace of mind” and a hallway is a highway between spaces. So, the fact that you hung it there and you have such strong memories of that entire time frame is no surprise to me – you were transitioning through so much in your life – in one huge swoop … so peace of mind in often the most traveled corridors makes sense – to me. 🙂

        Ghost? Well – that too must have been fascinating – at least I hope it wasn’t a nasty affair.

        Music as well? I’d be curious about that too.

        Great job Yves – really – and thanks for the additional info. 😀

        1. Now that is an interesting theory and you very well might be onto something with it! No it looks mostly sanctuary I agree and it is certainly prettier than my usual fare, there is some red in the lilac and the lines were made by raking my fingers along it in a clawimg motion, so it is just the barest hints of turmoil which are very carefully disguised but I think there may be in another painting underneath it as well. Though I cannot remember specially what it was I am fairly confident of it.

          As for the ghost it was mostly cutting on faucets (at full) and cutting off and on lights. My daughter was very small then and she used to watch “something” with undivided attention that I did not see and once I remember she flew into the air by me (not very quickly). I caught her and she didn’t cry and was unhurt but I cannot imagine how a child who could not even crawl could become projectile without assistance (she literally looked like a tiny superman just there in the air). I do remember a very scary dream I had about a bride, extremely in your face intense and after that it felt more negative but we moved out soon after for unrelated reasons.

          1. It’s amazing how when we are creating, especially when it’s something 2D-3D, like a painting or sculpture or whatever, how it becomes so easy to transmit our emotions through our bodies – which isn’t possible through writing – unless we are writing long-hand and gashing through the pages. So it’s interesting to think about the process of you clawing at the canvas – as well as considering and remembering (mostly) that there was another painting beneath. Another dimension to the dimensions, perhaps? 😀

            Wow – hmmm … “interesting” ghost – and thankfully your daughter wasn’t hurt – as for the nightmarish dream about the bride – that could have been the message – and since your daughter was so small and probably wasn’t speaking yet, it was your way of “tuning in” to the energy and figuring out what was going on. Funny how as children, we are far more open and in tune with the other levels/planes of existence.

          2. Everytime I write on paper it is gashing, even a grocery list lol I like that you can get into painting I use everything brushes, hands, sponges anything I can grab and it is such a release when I don’t have the words to express my feelings.I agree children are much more open because I remember being a child and witnessing some things quite vividly. I think I am less “aware” now. I am very glad she wasn’t hurt.

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